Change is not something I do well, matter of fact, I will do just about anything to keep my surroundings from changing. Versatility is not my middle name no matter how you spell it. I like things to stay the same, but we all know that is an impossibility in life. I struggle with every little change that happens around me. I wish I were more like others who just seem to laugh in the face of change and just roll with it and even looking at change as welcomed friend. At work, as soon as a change is announced I begin to have the feeling of rebellion burning the pit of my stomach and usually say something like, "Oh hell no, I'm not doing that, they can kiss my a%#." Funny thing is once I have to do whatever it is, I'm usually ok with it down the road. I'm that way about everything. Sometimes change is a good thing, and sometimes change is good for us. I need a change now; I need to change back to the person I was prior to May 17, 2010 when all of my hard work began to fall apart right before my eyes and back onto my thighs. LOL sorry couldn't resist. I have to be honest with myself and put it into writing so I can see it; I have gained back 18lbs as of today. I'm really mad at myself, no wait, I'm pissed at myself for this and the madder I get at myself the more I eat. I have totally abandoned everything I have worked so hard to achieve and can't seem to find my way back. Time is a big constraint for me. My schedule is so screwed up I almost can't find time for my family let alone work out time. I should be working out right now, but I'm not. I work Saturday 9-1, 5-9, Sunday 9-1, Monday 8-11, school from 12-1, work 5-9, off Tuesdays class 6:30 -9:00, Wednesday 8-11, Class 12-1, work 5-9, Thursday off, class 6:30-9, Friday 8-11, class 12-1, work 5-9. Plus all the homework, all the studying, one kid in alternative school where I have to take him and pick him up in the afternoon and one I have to pick up from soccer every evening at 5:00. Not to mention the house, my husband, the dogs, and good grief what else. If I do have any time I just want to knit or crochet and not think about anything. Maybe today after I get my homework done and the DTV guy comes maybe I can get some work out time in.
I need a change. I need to change back into that fat burning machine I was prior to that date and get myself back on the right side of healthy.
1 comment:
I hear ya! Between my husband retiring, the blog addiction, and a stalker at my favorite park I have fallen off the wagon too. I though about introducing Fit Fridays on my blog to help me stay motivated. We'll see...:)
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