Please Spray Your Testosterone somewhere else.



[Times art: Rossie Newson]



Some days, some worse than others, I wish these boys in my house would learn to clean up after themselves, but what I really would like out of the four boys (including my husband) is for them all to stop hosing the house down with their own testosterone.  I'm mean come on.. there is only so much my daughter and I can take of this behavior.  If you guys must have a measuring match please do it outside.  It's a constant one up in my house to the point now the women in the house are trying to out do the other with who got the most sleep, who is not feeling the best in the house, and how many chores (or school work) was done by one person. 

My daughter and I are the odd people out in the house.  There are four guys to us two women.  We have to do some serious fighting to hold our own in this house.  It's a constant battle to keep toilet seats down let alone clean because you know not one of them can hit that big round hole in the middle.  No matter how much training we do with them when they are little  it never takes.  They always dribble.  I can't tell you how many times the females in this house has been known to come howling out of the bathroom because of wet seats.  I'm seriously considering the potty covers because of them.  Oh I know what your thinking, all they have to do is lift the seat?  Really??  That works?  I have found that if they lift the seat one of two things happen 1) they don't put it down and we (the women) end up with wet backsides from sitting IN the toilet instead of ON the seat especially on one of those middle of the night, I'm half asleep running the bathroom hoping to make it without tripping over a dog, or 2) they complain that we (the women) can't have it both ways, its either dribble or bowl? 

It's not just the toilet; it's the whole I'm right and your wrong thing lets dual at midnight thing.  Come on, who gives a big rats behind?  Not me, it doesn't matter.  Who really cares who is the best guitarist in the entire universe?  That is sooo subject to opinion, and we all know what opinions are like, don't we ?  I walk around the house looking for that non existent woman cave (quite the opposite of a man cave) where I can crawl in, play with my yarn, and watch Lifetime.  All in all I love the boys in my house; I can honestly say without all the antics of boydom it would be pure boredom around this house.  So, for all the wet backsides out there, love your men and boys they were truly put here for our entertainment and amusement.