Life's A Bitch and Then You Die

That about sums up the way I feel this month. I swear I really do not think I can handle another damn thing to go wrong. It seems that everything that I have touched or came near has screwed up. Lets see the run down for the month is this (if I can remember all of it) First the bull with my lovely daughter, then hmm lets see, my window on my car just rolled down on its on the motor had gone out and had to be replaced ( I will say that we were blessed and it wound up costing a lot less than first assesed). Ok, then the computers hard drive crashed and had to be replaced (Dell fixed it for free because I had been smart when I bought the computer and bought the extended warranty), work and all its wonderful pleasures ***NOT***, getting sick twice this month actually I didn't get "sick" I have a hiatal hernia and because of said haital hernia I experiance GERD which causes my throat to become raw and burned and my stomach to be upset adn then the glorious onset of the trips back and forth to the bathroom. Due to all the stress it aggravated the problem and I missed two days of work, both on a Monday and both for the same reason which led to me being accused of "abusing sick time". Ok so on top of all the other stress that I am dealing with I was hit with that one too. And the cherry on top of all the BS I, yes I, and only I, screwed up the bank account that left a serious void in the bank account as well as putting some of the bills behind and no money for anything else. It was my screw up I will have to fix it just like I have to fix everything else. I'm sick of crying over all of it but dang it has to end at some point, hopefully that end is coming soon.

Back to work

I couldn't think of anything inspiring or interesting to title this post today. It's not that nothing is going on but instead my brain is not functioning well at all along with my body. I say back to work because I called in sick yesterday not because I wanted to stay home and knit or play around let alone clean the house or do laundry but because I am not well. I'm not going into the gross details or bore you with all that is wrong but I will say this, I have done it to myself. Most of the problems that I have would mostly go away (I say mostly because I know that I wouldn't suffer near as much as I do now) if I would only get this weight off my body. I have tried everything short of radical surgery or Jenny Craig (which one I won't do and the other I can not afford) and nothing seems to get my attention enough to stick to, so I continue to suffer with the problems that I have caused for myself. The stupid thing to all of it is that I know what the problem is but don't do anything about it. The absolute definition of insanity: Doing the same thing expecting different results. I finally finished the hat for the little boy that I have been writing about. I think I made it to big but it is cute. I still screwed up the decreases but my husband said that it looked great and he wanted one and Shelby said he wanted one too. I also have news about Will, he had his surgery last Friday and they were able to get to the tumor that was the size of a tangerine and were able to remove it and the mass around it as well as the tenticles that had branched out. I was told that the next afternoon he was sitting up in the bed talking to his mother. I haven't heard anything since Saturday but I was doing some thanking God for His mercy and love!! I told you miracles were possible.

The Curse of the Knitted Hat....

I have been cursed, I think. I was asked by my mother to make a hat for a friend of her's youngest child who has been diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor and is undergoing chemo and radiation treatment. So I started to work on this hat. The first time around I royally screwed it up and had to frog the thing. I started again on Sunday and yesterday when I took the kids to the dentist I started the decreasing on it but I screwed up again so back to the dang frog pond I went. About the time I had decided there was nothing I could do to save the hat my computer decided to give up the ghost and fry itself. Ok normally I would have gotten upset but after the last 2 weeks of crap happening to me I have about had it. Last week it was the mess with my daughter, then the window on my car rolled down on its own and come to find out the motor and the regulator and that was going to cost us about 210.00 to get it fixed. I'm telling you it has been a hoot. It got so bad last week I drank and entire bottle of wine by myself on a weeknight. Now, those that don't know me, I do not drink that often. I may drink a glass of wine with dinner, or a beer while watching the Titans play but as far as drinking its not my thing. I had, had enough that day and my mind could not take anymore from anyone. It was better if I were buzzed. However, sometimes if you just sit back and say a prayer or just hand it over to God things have a way of working out. I'm ashamed to say that I didn't do any of that but apparently God loves me and He wants to help me and I'm proud to say that I did say thank you. I may be a lot of things but one thing I most definatly am is a grateful person. Without Gods eternal love and care I promise you I would not be where I am right now. It may not be where I want to be but its where I have been placed at this time. The car was fixed not for the 210.00 but for 90.00. The computer will be fixed this week and it was under warranty and they are coming out to my house to fix it, I have lost a lot but I didn't loose a lot. See about 2 months ago on a whim I decided to buy 250 gig external hard drive and move all my stuff that I wanted to keep like pictures or files, over to that hard drive so most of my stuff was already backed up. Now I did loose all my games and such but thats a matter of loading all the software back onto the computer. My daughter will be ok its the age but the lying has to stop I can not stand the lying. My son is home and safe and the youngest is about to figure some of it out I think. And as for the hat, I guess I need to pray a little more thru the stitches for the healthy and the well being of this child and his family as well as for my own maybe I didn't pray hard enough. All in all God is good ALL the time even when you and I can't see it and think you can't feel it.