I got Published!!!

I can not believe it, I got published. I submitted my Garter Stitch and crochet Bath rug to the 2009 Knitting Pattern a Day calender, gosh, several months ago and had forgotten all about it. Yesterday, a package came and I was like, who ordered something. I didn't. So I opened it, it was a copy of the Pattern a Day calender. Well, me being thick sometimes didn't have a clue where it came from for the rest of the day I asked everyone in the house and my mom did they send it to me. Of course all said no. Then that evening I got to looking at the packing slip and saw it came from the publisher then the thought crossed my mind oh yea I submitted a pattern, oh wait it might be in the calender. So Gary and I got on the bed and he took half and I took half and there on April 30, 2009 was my pattern. OMG I'm so excited!! It's not much but it happened.

I have moved

I have moved my blog to:

www.lifesayarn.wordpress.com

I don't know when or if I will shut this one down but when I do I will post such. Also, my husband and I have started a blog: www.youmissedit.wordpress.com

Gary and I have started doing some exploring of the close small towns and some far away checking out some of the things they have to offer and taste the local foods. Come check us out.

Life for me is sometimes the proverbial bowl of cherries, matter of fact most of the time I am quite happy with my life as it is. But, as with most of us sometimes life can and will in fact get me down to a point I don't know what is going to happen next and get me to thinking maybe whatever it is that is going to happen will hurry up and get it over with so I can deal with it and get it behind me. For me, life is a yarn, not the kind of yarn that you knit or crochet with (but I do knit and crochet) but the kind of yarn that is a story that goes on and on. Each day brings another part of the story that makes each of us who we are and what we are about. Somedays our stories is rather boring and nothing in particular has taken place but in those moments that seem so uninteresting we have time to maybe reflect on our own yarns just long enough to see who we really are and maybe get a glimpse of where we are heading in life.
I am extremely interested in my families past. I know very little of my fathers side and not a lot about my mothers side. I know my closest relatives on both sides none of which I have ever been particularly close. I loved them all but never really got to know them. It's no ones fault but my own that I didn't but now it saddens me a bit knowing that I could have been spending some of that wasted time in my life learning from my father before he died. I want to know who I am and where I came from. I have looked for records but none that I have found have ever been able to tell me the stories I want to hear. Bad good or indifferent those stories reflect who I am.
We all have stories to tell. Some sad, some happy and some well some that just need to remain where they are. But all in all those stories or yarns are what intertwine us all together as humans in this thing we are walking through called life.

I have been so bad. I haven't posted since March I think. Life has been busy and I haven't had much time to get my thoughts together to write anything. Work still sucks and I'm still looking for another job but the job market is really bad and I'm having a hard time. And I have been trying to find a second job to get this damn debt paid off. I am so freaking sick of being in debt. We make close to 70,000.00 a year and can't buy groceries, whats up with that? It has to go. All of it. Most of it I did, credit cards and such. I knew better but for what ever reason I did it anyway. STUPID!!! Well one way or another I'm getting my mom paid off, and all the bills we owe, save the house note and the car notes.

I have a motivator, other than the obvious, Gary told me if I got the bills paid off I could have a parrot. I have to take you back a few years to explain this one. Ten years ago I worked in a pet store as an assistant manager. One of the animals that was in the store was an African Grey Congo that I fell in love with and he with me. I was the only one that could get him out of the cage so at night when I was getting the store ready for closing and doing my paper work he would sit on my shoulder. He would nuzzle me and kiss me and I would pet him and talk to him. It was rather amusing that a bird and me would ever become this close. See I have always been and always will be a cat person, so when Yoda decided that liked me it was rather weird. Well one day someone came in the store to buy Yoda I was off work and they couldn't get him out of the cage as usual so they called me at home to come and get him out. By the time I got there he was already out and gone and I never got to say goodbye to him. Turned out that he was bought by some guy with a stolen credit card, who knows what happened to that wonderful bird. Since that day 10 years ago, I have always wanted a African Grey but never either had the room or the money to buy the cage and the bird. All these years I have been reading on them and trying to learn as much as I can for the day when I can have one. My kids are older and we have a large home where he/she would be very happy. I really can't wait but I'm going to have to.





Some pictures I took in the last couple of days in my flower beds. The top is a butterfly on my butterfly bush. The one next to it is a red house finch that has decided that the humming bird feeder is his. Every Sunday we see him sitting on it and that day he allowed me to get pretty close without him moving off.


Then another butterfly on the bush. I got a picture of a hummingbird that visits us everyday but its not a good picture. I have been trying to get a good picture but not having any luck. One day!!

It snowed yesterday and last night. We woke up to a beautiful blanket of snow. I love snow and wish we would get more.

Today was one of the worst days of my life. It started out pretty good. I went into work early to get the officers trial docket done, it has to be done before 5pm so the officers know who is scheduled for court on the following Tuesday. I was leaving at 10 but didn't get out of there till after 11:00am. I had most of the day off to go with my mom to the Southern Women's show but I had to get my work done before I left. I was really having a hard time getting out of there like something was standing in my way from leaving. By the time I left work and got home the weather was already starting to turn bad. Mom and I had talked about not going and making plans on going on Saturday instead because we were afraid we would get stuck downtown and not be able to get home. So, Shelby and I went to the grocery store where he decided to start acting a fool. When we got to the check out line I realized that I had no checks with me so I had to run to the house to get a check. I got him in the car and pretty well let him have it. I told him I was so very tired of his behavior, getting into trouble at school and at home. I told him until he changed his behavior he would not be going anywhere with me or anywhere else for that matter. We drove home and the whole way it was an argument. We got home and I ran in to get my checks and he sat on the couch. I told him he had to change his ways, now I was yelling at this point I had, had enough by now. You have to know how he works and for the last 3 or 4 years he has been like this. It's absolutely madding. Anyway, I left to go back to the grocery store. On the way back, I called Cody to open the garage and he told me he didn't know where Shelby was. I told him to run around the house and look everywhere, in closets, under beds, the attic space, and in the backyard. He was no where. He had decided to run away. Now its snowing hard and ice is coming down as well. The temp is dropping and I'm getting more and more worried. I asked several people to help me look for him and Gary came home to help too. Finally after about an hour of him missing I called the police department where I work to get someone here to take a report that would enter him into NCIC so they can help find him or any other agency that found him. By this point I'm scared and crying. The officer got here and was talking to me when my cell phone rang, it was Shelby calling me. I asked him where he was and he said "somewhere" I was like where the hell are you again I get "somewhere" . The officer got on the phone with him and he found out where he was and let me go and get him. I swear I didn't know whether to beat him or to love him. He scared the hell out of me. He had made it about 3 miles down the road when he decided that he was really, really cold and getting hungry. so he called. I don't know what to do with him right now. We got him into a therapist so he would have someone to help him work out his anger I sure hope it helps him. I don't know right now what our next move will be if this doesnt work but I guess we will figure it out if it happens.

Life for me is so damn complicated. I'm having trouble keeping things straight at the moment and its driving me nuts. For instance, my major concern is my son and the crap he is pulling. Almost every day he is getting into trouble, every day. He will not do his work in class, he will not do his homework at home and forget about him doing any chores around the house. He is going to fail this year because he will not do anything to help himself. He will not behave in school at all. I think the write ups, paddleings, ALC's or talking to has done nothing. We have taken everything he owns away and it doesn't matter to him or seems not to. I have talked to a councelor and have an appointment with her in the am. Hopefully he will talk to her and maybe we can come up with something that will work with him. I also put him in the Police Explorer group here. Thats the group that I put Cody in and it worked with him, changed his life around. Anyway, I'm not going to loose my child so whatever it takes to get him back in shape is what I am going to do.
2nd - Work - everything is changing. Some for the better some for the worse and lots that we don't know about it. Its enough to make a person pull their hair out. I love what I do but this is really causing some major stress in my life, more stress than any of us that work together deserve. If something else came along that paid well I swear I will mroe than likely leave and change. I hate to do that but I can not keep coming home and screaming at the kids because I'm so stressed out about this job.
3rd - Home - I don't want to discuss this but it's not the worst of the stress its problaby the least of it. But it still adds to the stress level.
All of these as a whole are causing life to be more complicated. I keep praying and hoping things will calm down a bit and just be relaxing for a bit.

Well I did it, I decided to dye my hair back dark. It's really close to my natural color and I think I like it.

I think it makes me look a bit younger. You know every little bit helps. Now if I could only get this weight off me I might even look like myself.

My old friend and I had a long conversation tonight about nothing. We mainly get on the phone and start talking about all the crap we used to get into and all the fun we had. Then we get to giggling and acting stupid. She lives up North now and her accent has changed a bit. She made some comment about being on the phone and the word phoone sounded so funny I just started rolling, it was so funny. She was laughing and trying to tell me to shut up and the more she talked the more I laughed at her. Then she went there...the trip to Florida and me holding this tiny fish grinning from ear to ear like I had caught at big huge fish. I have these horrible '80's style gym shorts and my favorite Van Halen t-shirt with I think Nike's on. You know those Nikes that they made back in the good ole 80's. Oh and don't forget the horrible sunburn I had. Let me just tell you how dumb ass I was. We had been laying out for days let me rephrase that, a couple of months so we both had a pretty good tans before we ever got to Florida. So one of the days we went to the beach, her father dropped us off and left us there till I don't remember when. Well at some point we are sitting on the beach and some guys came by and asked us if we would watch their cooler. This cooler was full of beer and they told us to drink what we wanted of it. Boy did we. Matter of fact they never came back for it or we never saw them come back for it. Anyway, I got smart and decided to lay out on the Fort Walton, FL white sand beach using a reflecting blanket. All those places that didn't tan well burned like raw meat in a skillet. One of my eyes were burned shut, my ears had blisters on the top of them and the line on each side of my legs and sides burnt. Really smart! Anyway, she got to teasing me about this picture and all I can do is laugh. Gosh we did some really crazy stuff.
Ok gotta go my hands are killing me and I have to take something for the pain.

I woke up this morning expecting to not do much of nothing other than the last of the laundry, which I didn't even touch. Tori and I went to the mall to do some window shopping but really didn't stay very long. I really enjoy spending time with her when she is not being a smart ass teenager. She can be a lot of fun. When she is being fun and not being the butthead she can be sometimes, she reminds me how fun life can be. She is so full of life and her smile is very contagious. I enjoy hearing about her life, school and friends. Sometimes her stories are so dang funny I have to laugh at her for being such a goof. I wish the boys wanted to hang around me like she does. Oh they want me when they want something or to complain at me. Cody is getting older so I understand it somewhat but I want to hear about his life and he just doesn't like to talk to me like he does Gary, but Gary understands him better than I do. I'm very glad that he has Gary to talk to but sometimes I want that relationship with my son. Shelby is busy right now being a 12 year old. A 12 year old that is about to drive me crazy. I don't know what is wrong with this kid. He stays in trouble at school, he will not do his work and is extremely disrespectful to his teachers. I have put him in the Explorer program and I'm hoping that it will do him some good. We have taken everything away from him and he is pretty well grounded forever at this point and nothing is working. He is failing all his classes and refuses to do anything to improve himself at all. I don't know what to do with him right now. I'm praying that it is the age but I believe that if we let it go and let up on him that the behavior will continue. I have to get him figured out and quick. I love him but right now he's about to drive me crazy.

Tomorrow I have a meeting at work. I'm not looking forward to this meeting and would really like to skip it but its mandatory and I'm afraid that it is going to turn into a yelling match and some how I will be the bad guy again. What I hope is that I get a call in a couple of days from one of these places I applied for an interview and maybe a new job in my future. I have to do something to be happy again and right now I'm not happy but have to keep on till something better comes along.

Today

Today, I had the privilege of spending some time with an old friend’s grandmother. My old friend called me today and said that her grandmother had moved close to where our family lives and she had no way to get around. She asked if I would mind taking her to the store and to get her medications because she was out and her own daughter wouldn’t be bothered to come a mile down the road and help her mother out. Of course I told my friend that I would be very glad to be able to go and help her grandmother. I have known this family since I was in high school some 25 years ago; no way would I have turned her down. After depositing Tori at the home where she was babysitting I took off down the road to pick up her grandmother. She had moved pretty close to me and I hadn’t ever known that she had moved here. We hugged and talked for a few minutes and I soon realized that she is suffering from dementia, but still showed that most of her mind is still intact. I couldn’t believe that she was in her late 80’s; gosh it only seems like yesterday when we were at her home. Her and her husband had such a beautiful piece of land back in the day but apparently lost it when the big house builders decided it was prime real estate and wanted it to build the big houses in that area. I don’t know if she could have continued to take care of the place anyway since she was getting on up there and her kids had grown and gone their separate ways. Anyway, we went on and went to the store and then on to get her medications. We really had some good conversations and I wished that I could stay longer with her to talk but I had other obligations and was unable this time. I will find the time to go and just sit with her sometime really soon and I left my number so that she can contact me if she needs me.

I was reading an article today in a magazine that had to do with loving the bodies we have. Gosh, I look in the mirror and see this overweight, getting older, mistreated, abused body and wonder how the hell I'm I suppose to love this? How should I not, is what I really should be thinking. I'm mean, it is the only one I will ever have. It's not like any of us can get up one morning and run down to the local new body dealership and say, "I really hate this body, what kind of trade in do you think I can get on a new one?" Good grief, I wouldn't get one plug nickel for the model I have now.

The author of the article I was reading said if you think about someone that dies, don't you think they would think about what type of body they would have if they were to have the chance to come back to just hug someone they loved or even have just a few more days as a walking, breathing body. You know I have never thought of it like that. Matter of fact I have never thought that this IS the only body that I will ever have and only have one chance to live in it. So that brings me to the question, why would I ever abuse this body with overeating and lack of exercise? Why do I not like myself enough to take care of the one thing I have that is never going to leave me? Man, I didn't think of that either. This body will never leave, its stuck to me and my personality till the day I die, its never going away. Oh sure I could loose parts of it if I were to change my bad eating ways and start just walking every day.

This body, is the one true thing that is just mine. I can share it if I want but its really it is the one thing on this planet that I can truly say is mine. I don't owe anything for it, hell, I didn't even have to pay for it, it was given to me as a gift. I sure didn't take care of this gift very well. Hmm....that's a lot to think about this early in the morning. I think sometimes we need to just slow down and be thankful for the bodies we have been given.

Look at all the things our bodies do for us, I mean they do let us down sometimes, but look but they have pulled us thru and the wondrous miracles they have performed. I know at some point in my life that my hands will fail me. I have rheumatoid arthritis and I do not see a doctor for it right now plus I have carpel tunnel. Right now as I'm typing my finger tips on my left hand are pretty much numb. I know I can have surgery for it but right now I don't have the money for the deduct able or the time built up at work to take off for the procedure. So it will have to wait for another year I guess. Other than the things that will fail, look at the things that your body does everyday that we all take for granted. My thighs for instance, even after all this abuse, can still pick me up out of a chair and carry me around where I need to go. My arms, still can lift or reach to hug a child.

I'm coming to a point in my life that I want to slow down and take notice of the things around me and stop trying to hurry thru this one life that I have. I want to stop and see, feel and taste the things around me. Another point the author said was how many times in life are we rushing around so much that we don't even stop to taste the food that we are consuming. I mean really taste it. We don't. That's something that I really want to try to change. I want to slow down and enjoy this life AND this body that God gave me. And if I really try maybe I will learn to love this body and myself a little more each day. Loosing the weight is not going to make me love myself or even like this body any more than I do right now. I have to figure out who I am and why I have treated myself so badly.

My daughter got her belly button pierced today. I never thought I would say yes to it but hey what the hell. She is young and she should act young for awhile before the responibilities of adult hood take over her life.

Cody got his Letterman!!! Finally after all these years. I'm one proud Mama!!!

I am working on a new sweater. It's called the Tomato and I'm loving it. So far it has been a very easy sweater to work on and hope it continues to be that way. I think it will be. This is what I have done so far. I'm about 50 rounds off from being finished with the body of the sweater then it will be on to the sleeves and the neck. I can not wait to wear this, it will be the first item that I made for myself to wear.

I got to farting around the other day and came across some very old pictures of me. Well I say old but really that would suggest that I'm old and I'm not (not in my mind anyway). I was 16 in two of them and 17 in the graduation picture. I sure wish I had that body again.
I wish I could smile like that again. I had bell palsy when I was pregnant with my youngest son and I can't smle right.

The baby cable socks that I finished last week. These suckers took me forever to finish. I don't know why, but they seemed to take me longer than any other sock I have ever made. Not that I have made that many socks in my knitting life time but good grief. I gave them to my mom to keep her feet warm, her house is cold even with the heater on.

Mom's vest

I finally finished it, the vest I made for my mom that was suppose to be a Christmas present. I didn't exactly get it made for Christmas but its done now. Woot!!

Sad Day

The children's grandfather passed away yesterday at 5:00pm. His wife called me yesterday at work to tell me that they had revived him once but didn't think he would make it till this morning. I left work and my husband and I went to the hospital to be with him in his last minutes but by the time we pulled in the parking lot she called me again to tell me that he had died 20 minutes before. We decided to go in anyway and pay our last respects and tell him goodbye. The staff was very kind and allowed us to go in and we were able to spend a bit with him. He will be very missed by us.

Goodbye Billy we love you very much and we will miss you. It has been our privilege to be able to know you.

I know I have been gone to long and haven't written anything. It's been busy with the holidays and all, likely excuse! I hope that everyones Christmas and New Years all went well. Ours went really well, but thank God its over. I just about couldn't stand any more fun. On Christmas Eve, our family went my husbands brothers house for Christmas there. Really good food and good conversations. Met some new people that were invited and that was nice. Played a round of pool or two. We opened presents and I got something that I have wanted for years but never could afford to buy it for myself. A KitchenAid mixer!! Yes, I can bake again, and boy have I. I have made cakes, cookies, breads and even mashed potatoes in it. My family is having a ball with me doing all this baking. Me too!!! My husband bought me one of those ear things for the blue tooth on my cell phone hoping that I might answer the phone more often but it makes my ear sore and I don't see any need in it unless I was driving out of town or something. Not to mention that the bluetooth runs the battery down if I forget to turn it off. Christmas morning we spent at home then we went to my moms for Christmas lunch. We had a good time with my nieces and my mom.

Took this at my house the week before Christmas

Look under my nieces arm, it's a knitting machine, Go Aunt Carol!!

On the knitting front, I'm still working on the vest that I started back in November. It was suppose to be for my mom for Christmas but it didn't get done. I'm on the left front of the vest and about done with that part then on to the right I will go. My best bet I might be done with it this weekend then it will be on to washing and blocking. Oh and buttons have to be bought as well. I hope she likes it.

I took this picture before I started the left front but you get the idea.

I also I have 2 pairs of socks on the needles. One pair I have been working on for a long time and am going to finish these suckers before long. The other pair were started this past weekend for my son. They look big even for his big foot but I'm hoping that they will be ok. I will know soon enough because I'm a little over half done with one of the legs, he doesn't like them long.
I will try to post pictures of the vest and the socks when I can. Warning, my socks aren't as lacy and pretty as others I'm not that advanced yet.